With my overpowering laziness exerting a ban on my blog updates, I tried to write something which has the human emotion fear as its main theme. While chewing the idea over and over again, I do not exactly remember, what it was, that brought her thoughts to my mind.
Well, if I have a strong impulse to write about a girl like her, you people may ask, whether she is the most beautiful girl that I ever met. And the answer is a big No! But, making matters more complicated, if someone asks me to define beauty, the first of many examples that I am going to bring forward will be doubtlessly of this girl.
Now, what makes this girl an example for the discussions about beauty? The answer is simple. Because she is not beautiful! Though she has good features with everything in good proportion, tarnishing her facial grace, there is a villain; her eyes. She is cross-eyed.
During my Journalism studentship days, she was undergoing a similar course parallelly in the same institute. Among many girls of the institute, the only one who could catch my attention was this lady with squint. Don’t think that without her strabismus, she could be treated as the prettiest of all. Even if her eyes were normal, and as pretty as they used to be in a normal girl, she could be treated as only an average looking girl with normal charms.
Contrary to any other girl that I met in the institute, what I noticed about this girl as striking was her confidence. Though remained most of the time silent – perhaps that could be one of her innate characteristics – she was very modest and at the same time dignified in her walk, postures, and all. Her dressing style and the apparels that she carried were the trendiest of the time.
I had fallen in love with this girl, though she never came to know about my silent admiration. We used to smile each other whenever we passed across, she in her usual modest silent manner, and I with my innate hesitation. I never approached this girl for at least a casual conversation, or in order to make some flirtatious remarks moving a step further. What prevented me from doing all these things was my inherent shyness. I was really afraid of the extreme conservative Kerala society that used to watch keenly every public interaction between a girl and boy, even if they were of the lightest and gentlest nature.
Many of my class mates of the institute have blogs now, and many of them are good readers also. I am really worried if anyone would sneak into Vanity Moments and come to know about my secret admiration towards their cross-eyed class mate. But going by the proverb, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I am sure that there must be some persons who would agree that at least in some ways, she is beautiful.